On Christmas Day 2010 my cell phone crashed refusing to do anything. As my grand-girls would say, "you know anything like no phone calls, like no voice mail, like no text messages, like not even a picture would show on the screen." No matter where or how I touched the keypad and nothing, nada, zippo.
So, Monday morning, I dashed off to the cell phone store and began a two day odyssey that included three more trips back to the store to determine why it would send and recieve phone calls, show me all my fabulous family and mountains of December 2010 snow pictures and take a voice message - yet refuse to send or receive any emails. My first two days of vacation were consumed with this process which left me with little time for anything else like reading books or visiting friends or blogging or writing my Christmas cards.
Gramma, I know you died in August 1984 but I also know you have been listening to me complain, whine and cheer all these years, so plueezzee listen again. I want you to know I remember your phone: wall mount, crank on the side, black mouth piece sticking out of the middle, a receiver you picked up off the hook and tucked between your shoulder and ear - and a tilted platform you wrote notes on while on the phone. It was such a wonderful simple thing. One really really long ring meant trouble in the neighborhood so everyone on the party line needed to pick up their receiver and listen; a long and a short meant the call was for you; two longs was another neighbor's ring and two shorts was for the last neighbor on your line. Yes Gramma, I remember you usually picked up and "rubber necked" on all the calls as did your neighbors. But at least the phone always, ALWAYS, always worked! Grurrahhh... ...
For the past 25 hours and 30 minutes I have had zero problems with any technology. I was surprised with a wonderful NOOK for Christmas. It allows me to read books on this little pad thing thing about five inches wide and eight inches long and 1/4 inch thick. Just charge it up and it lights up and connects to the internet wirelessly. No more buying books, thousands of free (one of my favorite four-letter words) books are available via the NOOK. I was so full of hope, directions and set up so simple. Actually I was confident.
So, I set up an account only to have the website announce that it was not active. Not to be kept from the pursuit of the fruits of this gift, I set it up again only to have the website tell me "this account is already active!" So I tried a third time only to be told I failed to accurately input the information (not true, I checked twice) resulting in the "system" locking out of my new NOOK unable to continue reading the 90 page orientation manual (online of course) or listen to Franz Schubert on PANDORA or download my first free book. So to determine the solution, I sat on hold for 42 minutes listening to "a voice" telling me how much the "support team" appreciated me and my business." What was the problem - there was an optional section on the account page that is in fact required! Once I filled it out, I was up and running immediately. Technology, grurrahhh!
Gramma I hope you area still there cause I am still whining. It seems to me that one of your biggest problems after Christmas was keeping up with all the company who came to visit day after day through the Twelve Days of Christmas. Can I have that problem pulleeze???? You used to cheerfully make coffee and meals and snacks, then help your guests find their hats and gloves and coats from the black/blue/brown pile on the bed and then hurry out to the entrance to match men and boys with their five buckle overshoes, the women their zip-up-the-front with fake fur at the ankle "dress boots" and the girls their red or brown rubber overshoes with one button closure. I am looking now for some of your grace and good cheer. Still not finding any, please Gramma, plueeze send some soon - my vacation is fast slipping away.
Oh yes, one more thing Gramma. On top of the technology challenges I also need to learn how to keep the NOOK charger separate from the cell phone charger separate from the computer charger separate from the land-line phone charger separate from my Dremel tool charger from ... ... Did I mention I am running out of outlets to plug all the chargers into? Striped gloves vs black or brown or navy ones were easier to match with matching coats then all these black chargers, each with different little end to fit in only one of the above named devices.
I know my attitude is far from Christmasy. Several times in the past three days I have heard Winnie the Pooh talking to me saying, "oh bother." Perhaps what I really need is to take the night off from all forms of technology. I am shutting this computer and the cell phone down right now! I am going to settle down with my book, hardcover with paper pages. I will deal with on/off switchs and chargers again tomorrow.
What a simple idea...SHUT DOWN.
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