The Perfect Body

Auntie Lena (Ginger Hedstrom)

In 1990 a dear friend, who happened to be full-blooded Norwegian, turned 65 glorious years old.  A group of us wanted to surprise her and we also knew that it was she who was the queen of giving.  She flunked receiving with more "F's" on her report card of life than any of us ever could!

So I created Auntie Lena, a character clown, in the hopes of bringing a little levity to the surprise party to provide some ease for her ... taking some of the attention off her ... for a few minutes.  I created my "one time ever costume" wrote a poem about her life from stories her family and friends shared with me, brought a "deesh to pass." In the tradition of clowning, as the fool who created an interruption changing "momentarily" the tone of the event.

It was a grand party and she had a tremendous time receiving all the love from her family and friends.  This time she got an A+ as she received it ALL. Today, almost 13 years since her death in June 2000, I can still see her face as she drank in the fun and the love surrounding her.  Oh, yes, I can hear her laughter laughter too. 

The absolute unexpected consequence of all of this was that people began asking Auntie Lena to create an interruption for them.  In the ensuing years I have created many and just like the first, each one has something to teach me.

Two weeks ago I was asked to interrupt the 50th Wedding Anniversary of dear friends.  I have known the bride since we were both in grade school and the groom since my teens.  This was planned with their children who told them that due to my recent bi-lateral foot surgery I would not be able to come as Auntie Lena. 

My props for the day included a decadent "made from scratch" chocolate cake topped with a used candle and wrapped in an embroidered "Saturday deesh towel," a quart jar of homemade egg coffee wrapped in old newspapers, an antique Victrola with 78 rpm polka records, and a clothes stomper for a cane. 

This morning I can still hear the laughter of the crowd, especially the bride!  I do love to hear laughter and since I can't respond with laughter, I remember it even more clearly after the fact.

One of the things that I learned that day was about body image.  What is okay at one age and is not okay at another.  In the picture above my costume includes a polyester dress that was made in the 1970's by my great-aunt Ella.  The hem is right above my knees.  I also wear pantyhose, a pair of old fashioned nylon "granny panties" over them and cotton stockings knotted at my knees.

While trying to put the Victrola together and get the music playing, my polyester dress hiked up in the back.  It always does.  It is supposed to!  It always brings laughter, gales and gales and gales of laughter.  And like many older women I have been blessed to know, it doesn't bother Auntie Lena any more than it bothered them.  On this occasion however, it was problematic for one of the guests who came up behind me and tried unsuccessfully to pull the dress down!  Well honey, there "ain't no pullin'" it down!  It is planned to be that way.

What I have been wondering since that afternoon during my moments of reflection and introspection is, was this person trying to protect my dignity?   Or was the imperfection of my aging body offensive to the eye (s) of the beholder (s)?  After all, no one would think of pulling down the tiny jean skirt of a teenage girl or any woman with a young lean trim body or for that matter any woman considered "young."  I don't know and it really doesn't matter.  The experience simply gave me something on which to be "just thinkin'."

None of these things would enter my mind if it weren't for the ways we as a society view the aging body as flawed, imperfect, wrong, a cause of embarrassment.  There is a billions dollar" anti-aging" industry to keep us from becoming wrinkled, preventing facial hair" and warding off the unpleasant sight of gray hair. Exposure of elephant" knees and/or "wing" upper arms, presenting images of elders in swimming suits, shorts or swimming suits and the response is often sound of absolute distain"eeewwweeeeeee."

From my years of working with elders and now literally being one, I realize that even suggesting that aging persons continue to be sexual persons is utterly repulsive.  There are not enough e's or w's in the English language to express the collective repulsion. 

Actually as I keep just thinkin' it seems that the only people we should celebrate as healthy and vibrant and sexually appealing are the young, the thin and the beautiful, the painted, primped hetero-sexual beings who are served abundantly and unceasingly by our billions and billions and billions dollar perfection based marketing media machines!

As always, I am still just thinkin' about live as it shows up!  Wrinkles and gray hair and wing arms and elephant knees and laugh lines and ... ... ... life IS good!